DEALING WITH ME
You know you have issues when your pastor preaches about being friends to the people, nobody wants to be friends with and suddenly the whole congregation wants to shake your hand after the service.
If that ever happened to me, I think I would pack up my car and move to another state! Yet there are times I wonder how close to the truth that joke is. The reason for my concern is that I have a hard time acknowledging my flaws. However, the truth is, that every one of us is flawed. The Bible helps me to see this because it does not hide the flaws of its heroes. Noah got drunk and lay naked in his tent exposed to anyone who walked by. Abraham was a liar, Moses was a murderer, David was an adulteress and a murderer, and Paul killed hundreds of Christians. None of us are perfect we are all flawed.
How can we as individuals deal with the flaws we do not acknowledge or cannot see? I think one of the best ways is to have an accountability partner. I once mentioned to a friend that I would like to meet once a week so that we could hold each other accountable. He told me, “Chuck I don’t need any more guilt in my life. I place enough on myself.” His idea of holding each other accountable was skewed. He thought I wanted to find a list of accountability questions that we would both agree on and answer truthfully each week. I could never convince him that there was another way to hold each other accountable.
My accountability partners and I only ask each other one question. How is it going? The expectation is that we will be honest and upfront about our struggles and how we have faced them. Recently, I related a conversation that I had with another person. One of my accountability partners said, “You need to apologize for what you said and how you said it.” My response was immediate and heartfelt, “I’m not the one who is in the wrong. That person is the one who spoke harshly to me for no reason.”
At this point in the conversation, I could not see my flaws. However, my accountability partner was patient and persistent. “It doesn’t matter what that person did, it matters what you do.” Then he quoted one of my favorite verses, Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” I had to ask myself was I willing to forgive just as Christ forgave me? I wrote the person an email because I knew speaking face to face would not be appreciated. I apologized and commended the person for being an amazing individual.
I needed my accountability partner to help me see what I did not want to see. He gently pointed out the right thing for me to do and encouraged me to do it. Just like my heroes in the Bible, I am flawed. But thank goodness I have two accountability partners who gently encourage me to do what is right even when I do not want to acknowledge it.